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My boyfriend is so irresponsible with his money.. Is there a way to get through to him?

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My boyfriend is so irresponsible with his money.. Is there a way to get through to him?

Postby hayes51 » Sun Aug 07, 2011 5:52 pm

Several months ago, my boyfriend got his tax return and it was like $1500 or so. When he told me how much it was, the only thing I told him was "Don't blow it." He asked me to elaborate and I said don't spend it all at once, save it. So what does he go and do? He buys a $700 flat screen TV, which I should point out, he already had a freaking TV. On top of that, he bough an Xbox 360 with kinect. I could see the Xbox, but there was NO reason to buy the TV. I bitched at him about this for like 2 weeks because he barely makes enough money to pay his bills as it stands, and having that extra money would have really helped him.

So now several months later, he is always freaking broke and he complains about it all the time. This wouldn't be so bad, but the other day, he sat me down and talked to me about why he started smoking again and he was all serious saying that it was because he hates his job and he is barely making ends meet, and so he needs a release. He also went on to tell me that he probably won't be able to make it to his dad's wedding because he can't afford the gas to drive 4 hours to Sedona. This pushed me over the edge, and now I have been fuming the past couple of days over his stupid financial decisions. If he hadn't blown his money on a TV he didn't need, then he probably wouldn't be in this situation.

I feel like I need to let this go, but at this point, I can't! I am just so angry about his situation and how he has royally screwed himself. How can I get it through his thick skull that he needs to be more responsible with his money? If he can't change this about himself then there is no future for us. I keep trying to help him, but he seems totally incapable of moderating his spending. What can I do?

btw, he blows his money on cigarettes and 20 oz cokes all the time, and I try to tell him this adds up but he doesn't freaking listen to me! As a result, he's buying cigarettes and cokes instead of buying groceries so he can actually eat a meal.
hayes51
 
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My boyfriend is so irresponsible with his money.. Is there a way to get through to him?

Postby jimmy99 » Sun Aug 07, 2011 5:57 pm

Unfortunately there is no way to get him to change other than if he makes the changes himself. If it's really a big deal you need to end the relationship. I know it's hard but please think about it honestly. People with bad money management skills cause endless problems in their relationships. I've seen far too many good people get dragged down by a partner who has no responsibility with money. He should have put that money in a CD or savings bonds and you can't just force someone to do that - they need to see those skills firsthand through a parent or close friend. It doesn't sound like he has had good financial role models.
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My boyfriend is so irresponsible with his money.. Is there a way to get through to him?

Postby spelding » Sun Aug 07, 2011 6:01 pm

I doubt you can change him. People who are spendthrifts tend to remain spendthrifts. He will probably be the same way when he is fifty years old. If you don't want to be married to a spendthrift, you need to start looking for another boyfriend. Financial differences are one of the most common causes for divorce.

I understand completely why you are mad at him. His behavior has shown that he is not marriage material, and it is becoming more and more clear that you do not want to marry this guy. This is of course going to make you angry.
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My boyfriend is so irresponsible with his money.. Is there a way to get through to him?

Postby daith » Sun Aug 07, 2011 6:04 pm

do a favor for yourself - dump him now - invest your time in someone with a bit more of a future

I know - you will too if you don't make a change
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My boyfriend is so irresponsible with his money.. Is there a way to get through to him?

Postby brocleigh » Sun Aug 07, 2011 6:07 pm

He's immature and irresponsible - and won't change until he's ready. You can't make someone mature - only time and experience (hopefully) will do that. Have you considered LEAVING him? Whatever you do, keep your finances strictly separated from his - no joint accounts, no credit, no loans, no real estate.
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